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Thelexmachine's Bio and Free Webcam
- Real Name:
- Birth Date:
- May 23, 1981
- Interested In:
- Men, Women, Trans, Couples
- the wrong planet | lexspectrum.com
- Last Broadcast:
- 6 days, 5 hours
- English-progressive 1st world, un petit peu Français, body/nonverbal, gibberish, troll, one-handed type and autocorrect
- Body Type:
- body positive
- Smoke / Drink:
- Dig stoners. Not a fan of cigarettes or alcohol.
- Body Decorations:
- 3 small tats I'd love covered email me if you sling, tiny gauged ears, rainbow hair everywhere
- Pics & Videos:
- About Me:
Back to this acct primarily for financial reasons.
Get at me if you would like to cam together (5k cb followers min, more is better, or anyone or more 30+ and bi+ or NB, like myself) or you would like to shoot portfolio work and a few images or videos I can sell commercially (I suck at sales, so I'm still not even making rent from any of it)
(no, I won't play with you unless you are bi+ and work in the industry, if escorting were legal, sure, until then legal porno only
Why yes that is a dumb rule, thanks for noticing tell your legislator, moving, on....)
NYC/NJ - **CANCELLED** still trying to get there
MAY 5- Tricky @ Magic Stick
ANYTIME - Come to my studio for photos or camming. shoot or be shot. email me a link to your work with the subject BOOKING
Motor City Comic Con - let me know if you're coming, I was going to get a room for my bday before leaving for london and then I smashed my car and bricked my phone so I'm behind again with no ability to regain that ground quickly.
LONDON - May 23-Jun 8
I'm finally getting back to London after 6 years of missing the friends and lovers there that helped me survive the last major SI scare I had before my hospitalization.
Let's play! I'm booking shoots and cam sessions now.
FRIDAY the 25th MEET ME in front of either the National Gallery or Tate Modern, still deciding...
Concerts, music festivals, nerd conventions, nude beaches, art installations and food are reasons enough for me to travel. Pick one and lets go.
Vanilla meet ops will be whatever concerts and conventions I can get myself to.
I am on the autism spectrum,
I'm a nerdy, pervy, sapiosexual, polyamorous, hypersexual, ethically slutty qweirdo and I loooooooove being naked with you.
I've been at this longer than any other job I've ever worked!
I started here with multiple partners and their treatment of me while ill or vice versa has ended those relationships. I am finally healthy enough to even consider dating again and so far it's been ...mixed.
I had multiple lovers and partners throughout the US and in a few other countries long before I began camming. Some I speak to occasionally, some nearly every day, others I see periodically. You know, like friends, that I also fuck. At this point, I'm not taking on partners irl that aren't at least bi and preferably in the industry in SOME fashion. If I had time for everyone, I'd bang you all, unfortunately that's not realistic. I REALLY DO love jerking together though! Especially when we're all on the same page.
I started broadcasting here April 1st 2016. Previous to that I had tried [and failed] at camming at the dawn of the millennium, I genuinely wish this place had existed then. Let's wax nostalgic about the 90s internet. BBS and html chats you had to refresh manually, anyone?
I have several medical diagnoses which I will sometimes discuss and am on the autism spectrum. My stimming behaviors from when I was bitty are part of my health problems today. If I have a bunch of bruises, it's because I run into things and bruise easily, doesn't happen as frequently when I can eat properly. Poor proprioception FTW! I hula hoop/dance for exercise and better balance. I used to be much chubbier so thank you for being kind. Yes I will hoop on cam when I'm in the mood and I love to dance.
FAHQ [frequently asked hot questions]
- I don't wear a bra, and nearly everything I do wear is pajamas that don't look like pajamas. My shoes are a US 8. Armpits are NOT hairy, I'm not into the way it feels. In the winter my legs are, because I like not bothering and none of my hair is thick anyway. MY PARTNERS HAVE ZERO CONTROL OVER MY APPEARANCE and that includes you.
- The total number of people I've pleasured in person is somewhere in the very low triple digits.
- I am not married. Not likely to be.
- I do not have kids, scratch that I have NEGATIVE 3 children [also none of your business], and never will. An 18yr creative project that results in a human is not something anyone with this many head injuries should attempt. I have trouble with plants...shit I have trouble maintaining inanimate objects.
- I do have multiple loving relationships with consenting open adults. They are as unique and important as any close friendship just with extra rubbins.
Several of my mods are partners IRL and I am actively looking for couples and queers that are excited to get in front of a cam with me. I am only interested in meeting you in person if you are already working adult performers, photographers, etc to collaborate with.
- I have a few semesters of college [photography and welding being my favorite classes] but no degrees. I have instead worked over 25 shitty entry level jobs between breakdowns and bouts of chronic illness, in attempts to prove that I am not lazy or above demeaning work.
CB is far more my speed I guess.
- I was inappropriately sexualized as well as exposed to a lot of really quality erotic art at a very early age. Curse, blessing, here we are.
- My first sexual experience was with a girl and I have had several female partners. The majority of them though have been with varying types of guys, a lot of femme ones that often turned out to be NB or trans as well. I obviously like much more than either girls or guys.
- My music tastes are pretty broad but I especially love anything you can dance or hump to.
- My mental erogenous zones are sex obviously, space and time, the brain, 90s comics (anyone at WW Chicago '98-'00? I love digging out my lil con sketch collection), illustration, photography, most discussions of art, philosophy, and all kinds of terribly geeky crap.
- I like all the adult genitals. Really. Just has to be connected to a stellar brain and I'm probably game. These days, I'm really only looking to further my experience with (DTF) couples, groups and ladies or butts (of whatever sex) preferably on cam/film.
- I've been wearing a bush for a decade and a half. Yes, it's been bald, yes, I could do other things with it, but it's my bush love it, like it, deal or GTFO. I'll continue to shave, color, and trim the way I like.
- My hair and nails are one of the oldest parts of my self care routine, again, I'm set in my ways here, make suggestions at your own peril. I almost never wear make-up, and once again that's my prerogative.
- My favorite position depends on the person, it's all relative to body shape and fucking ability or style.
TURN ONS AND KINKS
Learning gives me a boner. I frequently watch Ted talks or uni lectures while I jerk more often than traditional porn.
I love to watch cams for tokens, I'd watch for free, and used to when I had periods so bad I couldn't work from an IUD i had placed to make porn with the first partner that turned out not to actually want to make porn, but I still had to be online every second because I was barely surviving on next to nothing.
I have a preference for avid readers obvs, big brains and weird or unique bodies (if they have or would have made fun of you at school for it, it prob makes you hot to me) a bit more than stereo-typically pretty ones, I guess I have a kink for weirdos and underdogs, go fig. [finally figured out where my intense affinity for the physical weirdo comes from, surprise it's mostly a film, so that's weird/fun]
I have a single true fetish and that is audio/aural. To get off I have to hear my partners moan, groan, grunt, and gasp with obvious pleasure. Let me hear you in a private c2c sometime or email me mp3s of your orgasms!
I orgasm once a day minimum, if you catch it here, it's genuine. Like real world sex, I'm here to get off with you, not for you so this room is a bit different than most. Lurking helps.
I love to hear about other performers you love at appropriate times and I am always looking to make new friends, find other qweirdos to help keep me going 'round here.
I would get with you, if you are a queer broadcaster and excited to play on cam. I've spent so many years fucking "straight" guys because I like them too/wasn't accepting of my own queerness, and I'm just ready to be with more people that are more like me.
Ultimately, I still want to make loving art porn with like-minded sensual pervs.
Psst. If you are here because I tipped and gave you a thumbs up, just trying to be supportive of my fellow nerds and weirdos. If you're over 30 I MIGHT be flirting, but mainly I tip anyone I can find in certain tags a little something, just because there aren't enough of 'em on the site. Keep on keepin on and don't let the uncool greys get you down.
- Wish List:
For you to follow me if you like anything you see here.
PRETTY PLEASE for the love of all that is buttholy help me keep that thumbs up score over 100%
support me on patreon
"I emailed you but you never emailed me back..."
Ok dudes. I can't respond to everyone. I tell you to email me because of like 50 things, here's a sample:
-I have Memento-esque memory problems related to head trauma ['You don't look disabled' gets you an immediate ban btw, if you are too ill-cultured to know what an invisible illness is, you can fuck off. The only games we play around here are "ban the bot" and "ban the fuck out of the ill-mannered" I prefer "flick the bean and pound the butthole" but some very uncool greys make this harder than it should be]
- If you email me just your name from the chat, you might as well be sending me a random dick. I have no recollection of speaking to you and we may have to talk many days in a row for me to have any real impression of you whatsoever. Give me details.
- YOU MUST include details. If you have a photo or video studio you'd like to share with me as a model, email me as if booking a fucking model or photographer since that's what I'm used to personally. I will collaborate with amazing artists, but I've shot history-making erotic art. Randos shooting fetish in their basement are not going to impress me. Nor will a portfolio full of naked white women in the desert. Sorry I love a GWC as much as the next aspiring pervert, but the work has to be mutually beneficial or you pay me just to make the effort, much less spread.
Because of my income limitations, I will gladly accept travel and accommodations as payment in exchange for unique work that we can both use commercially. Yes I am, at least that privileged. Go me. EMAIL me. I will NEVER discuss travel plans with my dick in my hand, nor should you. lexpletive AT gmail
- If you want or can take me to a specific trip [concert, nude beach, new zealand, whatever] email me the exact dates and as much info as possible. Will I need to arrange my own transportation or accommodations? Do you have weird stuff i need to know about? Should I bring a bathing suit? A goat-faced fidget spinner to sacrifice? A PKE meter? This stuff is important. *I do not escort*
-I moved into a studio near Detroit where I'm shooting portraits of other qweirdos.
Make plans to work with me in 2018, it'll probably save my life. I really can't stress how shit I am at planning things or how much I need this kind of thing in my life right now.
We got to 50k followers and dyed the bush just after i moved last year. Let's see if we can hit 100k before the year is out
I was aiming for a small studio space with high ceilings and fast net access, on a private island with nothing but libraries full of comics. Or a van down by the river. and got the first two, which honestly is more than I thought I was going to find. It eats up 80% of my garaunteed income. I need to earn my max allowance just to pay my other bills and maintain my car. Right now that's a little over 20k tokens per month which is about a grand. I lived on less than $1k a month in 2015, i made less than $12000 that year, 11k in 2016, and wasn't sure I was going to survive either. I'm still here, so let's see what and who I can do...
Aiming for some porn heroes, happy just to make smut with people that love it as much as I do. [hey it worked last time, maybe this profile is magic. Edit: you guys I know I'm doing most of the work myself with lots of real help from real people, but it does feel kind of like magic. I need a new new phone since I dropped mine in the toilet right before Vday, and another plane ticket to LA, ok, universe?]
1001 tk single tip
2018 so far:
10,000 tk single tip
MOST TIPS overall from a single tipper: 9591
Help me buy boring essentials with ANY gift cards to lexpletive gmail . Always the most helpful thing, as much as I love new lingerie and toys, I need qtips and tp more often. reality bites.
or spoil me with level ups
[no one has ever bought from this list, apparently the independently wealthy are not into chubby midwestern nerds]
I love to travel as much as possible to be with my partners all over the world now, and occasionally new friends.
Donate to my travel fund to make even one of these things happen.
Invite me somewhere I couldn't otherwise go.
I AM STILL TRYING TO VISIT A PARTNER IN FRANCE, it would be nice to get to AMSTERDAM also while I'm there. If you want to see it happen, help me out. Aiming for summer or fall at this rate.
Possibly COLORADO literally any time EMAIL me if you want to book photo/video/cam time with me, or to help extend my stay.
Photographers, videographers, MUAs, illustrators, queer broadcasters, I wanna have your art babies! Let's make dirty stuff.
Calling all queer cammers! to join this subreddit to promote themselves.
If it get's out of hand, it'll just become private, but until then, let's share some queer cams and bitch about cb always being down. If I'm the only one posting, it's just looks like self-promo, soooooo....help a nerd out. I haven't looked at it in ages...
If you're the kind of perv that shares your porn with your friends, please do!
However you choose to support me in this art, please stay within your budget! I try, like a good faptender, to cut y'all off when you get crazy. Making your situation worse does not make mine better. Give only if and when you can actually afford to. I'll be here. That said, if you can afford to just dump money all over some person, this is true trickle down fapanomics. Your money is going directly to help disabled midwestern queer white trash live a less garbage life. Yes, getting naked on the internet is a LESS garbage life. That's precisely my point. AND a bunch of other pervs benefit, it's wins all around.
TIT pics, fan art, love/hate mail (please no Vogon poetry), job offers, and PP/GC donations
If you find ANY photos or videos of me elsewhere, please send a link and/or copy of the file to me at lexpletive gmail so I can share it here.
SIGN UP FREE to or to with us
PLEASE click that bate link to create an account if you're planning to broadcast/c2c here. I know I've introduced/inspired a number of performers and the little bit of help would REALLY help. It will NOT share your username with me.